Learn to look after your future self

Source: Benjamin Davies, Unsplash

In therapy, building a vision and articulated plan on how to become your future self is a critical exercise. Whatever your addiction or affliction, there is already strong inertia to keep things the way they are.

Doing nothing is 10 times easier than doing something.

The truth is: people don’t even consider change unless there is dissatisfaction with how things currently are. In fact, there is usually an element of suffering from yourself or a loved one that tends to push you to get help. For some of those who have spent a long time struggling with depression, anxiety or addiction, it is often hard to imagine what a future self even looks like, let alone look after it.

For most, looking after yourself in a way that benefits your future self is something that you learn. It’s both a mindset and an endless list of behaviours you deliberately choose to do. Most people have learnt that brushing your teeth looks after your teeth in the long run. We learn later in life that other things are beneficial to our long term selves such as saying no to seconds, going to bed at a reasonable hour and refusing old temptations.

Here’s an exercise, think of who you would like to be in 3 years.

Really picture it, make it specific, and make it clear. Recognise that your present day actions accumulate to move you towards or away from your ideal future self. For example, if you just started studying for your degree, in 3 years you might want to be finished and working in your desired industry. For others it could be rebuilding trust in a damaged or lost relationship. Choosing to do the small things consistently that benefit your future self takes practice and it a habits worth having.

I’ve mentioned to clients that a good rule of thumb is to treat your future self like a loved one you actually care for. That future person is very real in the sense that if you can negotiate with your present day self to take the necessary steps, you will get there. It takes some bravery to even say that I want to improve myself because there is humility in acknowledging that there is a better state. For those in recovery, it takes enormous courage to give up their “crutch” in order to attempt to be the person they really want to be in 3 years.

Start small, do the things that your future self would appreciate such as regular exercise, enjoying hobbies, improving your diet, consistent sleep refusing your urges. If you keep practicing the art of looking after yourself, and you’ll find yourself being thankful for all the small decisions you made. Happy recovery!