Is erectile dysfunction linked to my porn addiction?

For researchers in the area, this is an emerging and controversial topic. Can overusing porn contribute to erection problems? Short answer, probably yes. Long answer, erectile dysfunction can be caused by a range of physiological and psychological factors. Often the psychological ones are overlooked but very treatable.

Here’s a short breakdown.

Pornography is highly stimulating; it’s easy to be aroused by sexual material (that’s the point of porn). We use porn to arouse ourselves then we masturbate alone or with our intimate partner until orgasm. Normally, we proceed with the rest of day/night, and complete the tasks we set out to do. This is a typical, non-problematic use of pornography. There’s no hard and fast rule that determines how long or how often a person can use pornography and still be considered a safe and healthy practice. There is a rule of thumb to check if something is harmful: if your pattern of porn use is interfering with your work, relationship and health goals, then it’s worth thinking about cutting back.

Source: Mohamed M, Unsplash

What’s special about porn?

There are a few unique characteristics of porn that make it easy to overuse or misuse. Here are a couple of things you might not know about porn.

The Coolidge effect. Most people are supercharged to find sex and sexual material arousing. What’s a little more nuanced is that we have a tendency to find sex with a novel partner more arousing than repeated sex with the same partner. This is our default setting when it comes to sex. It’s hard-wired, in fact, rats who are exhausted from mating with one partner will jump start when a new one is introduced. Prior to high speed broadband internet, this mental mechanic was less of a problem because getting pornography was effortful. That’s no longer true: smartphones and high speed internet are mainstream. Unlimited, new and novel porn is free, accessible and private. The problem arises when we repeatedly consume more intense and novel porn to become aroused. It’s thought by some researchers that as your preference for novelty increases, the potential for you to be aroused by your partner decreases. Lack of arousal can contribute to your lack of an erection. Sometimes this lack of an erection during partnered sex is interpreted as general erectile dysfunction, but some users may still get erect for pornography. This is usually a sign that there’s a psychological factor involved.

Now here’s where things get more sophisticated.

As you consume more novel and intense porn, it’s possible that your expectations and preferences of sex and intimacy change.

Normally this isn’t a problem in a relationship that where sexual communication is very high. But in relationships where porn use isn’t approved, how you relate to these expectations can lead to anxiety. Here are common examples:

• “why would she want to have sex with me when I have a tiny cock?”

• “why doesn’t she orgasm and moan when we have sex?”

• “why doesn’t he do that in bed?”

These types of thoughts lead to feeling anxious, and when we’re anxious, it’s hard to get or maintain an erection.

Excessive porn use often occurs with disturbed sleep. It’s not surprising that if you’re in a relationship/family where you feel you have to keep your porn use a secret, you’re likely to use it when everybody is asleep. Masturbating is already a vulnerable activity and getting discovered is something people want to avoid. It’s not surprising that chronic sleep deprivation can have a negative impact on sexual functioning. It also has an impact on mood, irritability and motivation.

Now when it comes to erectile dysfunction, some guys develop even harsher expectations on themselves to perform at the next opportunity with their partner. This type of self-imposed pressure to perform often creates even more anxiety and can further lead to erection problems. It’s a vicious cycle, because some men might start relying on porn to become aroused for partnered sex which is a reasonable short term solution but over-reliance lead to longer term problems.

The best news is that reducing or abstaining from pornography often alleviates some of the porn overuse effects. It’s possible to have healthy porn use as long as you have the mindfulness and the tools to recognize when overusing is causing problems. If you’re having trouble with solo recovery from porn addiction, talking to a psychologist can help.