How long should therapy take?
Source: Insung Yoon, Unsplash
This is a common question that comes up during my pre consultation meeting and when finding a psychologist. However there isn’t an obvious answer and you may hear such responses as “as long as it does” and “how long is a piece of string”. I’ll let you in on my thinking about it and some useful tips. First and foremost, it really depends on you.
Is your issue a recently acquired one?
Is your issue a symptom of a deeper, life-long issue?
How willing, ready and able are you to work on that issue inside and outside of the psychotherapy sessions?
How much time and resources do you have to invest in addressing your addiction or addictive habit?
What is nature and severity of the issue?
Does the issue come with other concerns, such as depression or anxiety?
After some thought and feedback, I realize that when people ask that question, sometimes they are really saying:
“Don’t pull me along longer than need be”
That’s a really fair concern. And I’ll let you in on a secret, as a psychologist, if you meet your goals earlier than we planned that’s a great thing, I’d much rather you spend your recovery enjoying your meaningful life and not in the therapy room! I really mean that, it’s the reason I do what I do. Treatment is designed to help you recover and stay recovered. It is expected that as you’ve cut down your problematic use and regain control, there are sessions focused remaining in control and preventing relapse.
“I’m really impatient to get better”
That is also a really reasonable feeling to have. You’ve made the decision to attend therapy so you’re ready for significant change. You don’t like the current situation you’re in, and you would like to minimize that. The best part, recovery progress is in your hands: The amount of work that you do in and out of therapy room is a huge factor in how quickly you can make significant change.
“I have limited time and money”
Sometimes having a psychologist facilitating your recovery might not fit your time and budget. It is not for everyone, as much as I wish it was. I’ve written earlier about the costs of delaying recovery and how in the big picture, the cost of therapy is a small fraction of the time, financial and opportunity costs of addiction. The other thing to keep in mind is that, engaging in therapy will give you transferable and reliable skills that can help you recover. Occasionally, we fall into the trap of black & white thinking and think no treatment vs full treatment when 80% of treatment will still give you the very practical and useful skills. Most clients will attempt to reduce their dependence during therapy, so they are already saving a significant amount of time and money by not feeding an addiction.
My tip if I were sitting on the couch: I would be asking myself,
“Did I make progress toward a life without addiction?”
If after a few sessions that answer is repeatedly no, there’s an unaddressed barrier that is worth talking about. It could even mean referring to someone that might be a better fit. And that’s a good thing too, I would rather you make progress in your recovery than delay your progress. Like my blog post earlier, there are real costs to delaying recovery and no therapist wants to be part of that.