Psychologist vs. Best Friend’s Advice (Part 2 of 2)
Today, we’re talking about the difference between your best friend’s advice vs advice from your mental health professional. What to expect from your friends when you’re trying to improve your mental health. Part 1 will compare the difference between consulting your friends vs. a psychologist , and Part 2 talks about what/when it is ok to go to a friend for advice.
When is it ok to go to a friend for advice, and when is it not?
Your friend might recommend or advise something that is actually beyond their capability, but the emotional support they provide is really important.
This means - being emotionally present and available, sharing a meal or hanging out with someone you care about. You don’t want to do these things with your psychologist as it wouldn't be that helpful - you want to be able to generate positive emotion with someone who cares about you and that you also care about in order to feel like you are thriving and have that sense of belonging. You aren’t thriving in the clinic room, because life happens outside the therapy room.
Source: Egor Myznik, Unsplash
When should we listen to our friend’s advice?
There’s no straight answer for this as it is usually a case by case basis. However, there are a couple of questions you can think about to make your own judgment on whether or not to take your friend’s advice:
Did it add to the problem in the short and long term?
Do they lack relevant experience in the problem area?
Do their solutions violate your moral, and ethical code?
Are they contributors to the problem and part of the issue?
If the answer is ‘yes’ to one or more of those questions, then you might want to think twice before taking on their advice.
So then, what is my role as that friend?
Your role as a friend is not to fix your friend’s problems. You function far better as someone that can provide emotional support - as someone who can listen. Really listen. Spend time with them and give them the space to share their thoughts, and make them feel supported.
And if you really feel that you have a good solution (and you know that it is good after weighing the pros & cons) - suggest it as something to consider.
The most important thing you can do is to validate your friends’s experiences, celebrate your friends' successes and encourage them when they experience setbacks. That way, you can be a friend that supports that person’s wellbeing in the short-term and long-term.
Hope this helped you understand the difference between the advice you get from your best friend, and a psychologist.