The Eulogy Exercise: A way to find direction in life (Part 2 of 2)
Today, we’re going to talk about how writing your eulogy might just be one of those things that gives you a perspective and direction for when you feel lost. Part 1 explores the reasons why it can be tough for people to find their direction in life, and Part 2 describes the Eulogy Exercise and what you can do after.
The Eulogy Exercise
Sometimes patients have trouble identifying the things that they want to do, or figure out what’s really important to them. Sometimes, they just lose contact with what’s truly important.
And this is when I bring up the Eulogy Exercise. Let’s do this together - pause this video if you need to sit in a comfortable position, use headphones or sit in a quiet area if you need to minimize the distractions around you, and play this when you’re ready.
Ready? So here goes.
Close your eyes imagine that you are at your own funeral,
Imagine that you’ve lived a good full life,
Imagine the 3 people that will come up and
Imagine in detail what they say about you.
Now, think about…
What did you want them to say, and how would you like for them to describe the life that you lived?
What did it feel like to hear them describe you?
If you have died today, are there any differences in what they would say and what you are spending your time now?
It’s an open-ended exercise. There isn’t a right or wrong answer. It is used to explore what is important, who is important, and encourage a reflective view of your life. Now, feel free to pause this video and take as much time you need to think about this - and press play or continue to proceed.
Source: Veit Hammer, Unsplash
Now that we know what we want in our obituary, what do we do next?
Once you have identified the values that are important in your life - with friends, family, passion, creativity, and career - think of the smallest things you can do to help you move in that direction.
If you seem to be having trouble doing this with yourself, a psychologist can guide you through and help you articulate what it is that you truly want. A psychologist can also help you evaluate the pros and cons and make a sustainable plan. Sometimes - we get so caught up with a big, bold, dramatic change - and often at the cost of other things. So, have a sustainable long term plan that takes care of you in the now, and into the future.
As we come to a closing for this vide, here are top 3 tips that I found resonated best for the patients I’ve treated:
Find your passion. If you don't invest time in finding out, how would you know? It doesn't have to be flashy - it can be a sport, a club, religion, or your career. How can you fund or sustain this passion without being financially dependent on it? How can you keep doing this as your life changes?
Balance and mindfulness. Are your thoughts caught up in the past or future, or can you practice appreciating the moment? Can you capitalize on the opportunities around you without impairing other areas of my life?
Simple is better. Live simply first, do the small things. Are you a good parent, child, sibling, friend and partner? Are you making regular time to master your passions, improving your health and diet? Are you sleeping, eating and breathing right? Sometimes we get caught up with our “big” decisions, we forget all the important little ones that would help the big ones.
I hope this helped you understand how to navigate the feeling of being lost, and an exercise in your toolbox to help you manage it.