How Do Camgirls Seduce You?
The first part of our cam girl series looks about the basic techniques and tricks performers use to recruit and retain their clientele, from how they create and maintain the fantasy experience to business practice (with additional narration from Andrew Tate)
In this article, we’re going to take a quick look at the methods webcam performers / camgirls use to “seduce” and retain their patrons. This time with a little help from Andrew Tate snitching on himself.
Quick disclaimer, I’m not your psych, and this isn’t treatment; if you need a psych, you should find a registered qualified psych in your area.
This article will have two sections.
The first will be the pitch in which these performers seduce you and create attachment / dependency and the second will be the standard operating procedure that maintains and amplifies attachment.
Creating Attachment and Dependence (The Pitch)
Webcam performers are always selling a fantasy to you, and it's the reason why you use their services. They’re always smiling at you and happy to see you, reinforcing that their company is a safe place where you can feel desired and validated without any friction usually found in reality. A cam girl’s bread and butter are their “white knights” or top patrons. When these performers are on the job, their goal is always to nurture and facilitate a type of attachment and subsequent dependency that they are willing and happy to pay for.
Compliments
The easiest way to do this is by paying compliments and reaffirming you, their patrons. Something that makes you feel good, something that you may not be receiving in your day to day life.
Personalisation
This is then paired with a touch of personalisation such as calling patrons by their names or remembering their occupation or the events in their lives. Camgirls remember you, will write down important details about you, keep a spreadsheet of contacts and details so the experience feels authentic, personal and special to you.
Remember that this is their job.
Paid interactions usually entail one on one time where instead of replying to the hundreds of people in their chat, their attention is solely focused on you. The fantasy aspect if not controlled can make one feel as if this level of service is only for you, where in fact this is protocol for any big tippers / whale / VIP patrons.
Feeling Special and Different
Patrons will feel special and slowly morph this habit from a leisure activity into a need. Even if you have enough self control and awareness, participating one on one with a webcam performer is a paid service and time with them is always running out as soon as it starts. Even if you “know” this context, it's easy to suspend the knowledge that your favourite performer makes other clients feel as special as you do right now. You’re immersed in the fantasy (you’re not encouraged to make yourself feel bad when you’re feeling this way).
When you pay once, the performer has to maintain you as a repeat customer and make you feel unique and compare you positively to her other donors. Essentially encouraging you into a sensation of lust and love, nudging you closer into a state of dependency.
However, the best performers will elicit sympathy and empathy - pulling your moral compass into the entire transaction.
You are a good person
Some performers will pull out all the stops and in return for your physical and emotional vulnerability, She will be emotionally vulnerable as well, this is the superman punch of the pitch. Even if she is being honest, which is a slim to nothing chance, the result and her goals during her work hours will still remain the same - to keep you coming back.
She might share about her upbringing, a sick family member, financial hardship - becoming a webcam performer out of necessity perhaps, all to make you feel that she needs you coming back and supporting her with your funds. This can even feed into your ego as a “provider” and if this isn’t something that you feel in your everyday life, the more significant this feeling is. You feel appreciated, dutiful and respected.
If your moral compass is successfully hooked into this activity, you will subconsciously make a connection between donating to the performer as being a good person - the winning submission of this mental jiu jitsu. At this point patrons are also the most susceptible to scams where she might require larger one-off payments (to make rent or medical bills) and you come to her rescue.
Now we will explore the other factors that aid the performers in amplifying attachment with a client.
Source: charlesdeluvio, Unsplash
The Close
No Judgment
You must feel safe and welcome, to retain the fantasy and therefore there is no room for kink shaming or judgement. If you like feet, then your corresponding webcam performer LOVES it (and you probably selected them based on that preference). Cam-girls offer a safe, judgment free environment where you explore and fulfill sexual curiosities that you would typically feel shame from your partner. Imagine a one stop shop where your fetishes and insecurities are accepted while the performer also makes you feel like a good person and appreciates you for being there.
Consistency and Frequency
Professional cam girls take their jobs seriously. They are there for you reliably, consistently and frequently and this forms the basis of most friendships and romantic relationships. You make friends at school or workplace because those are the people you interact with between the hours of x and y, several times a week. This is true for online hosts as well whether that be cam girls, streamers or people selling goods on tiktok live.
You know when to see her, she’s always there and she’s available in a predictable time slot. She’s a fixture of your week. The best service providers are there when you need them.
This is not because they are waiting for only you, this is just how to conduct good business.
Responsiveness
Camgirls attend to you and do so immediately, especially if you’re a reliable big tipper. And if you want that level of attention and feel special, well you better get tipping. In real life when someone is attentive to you, they are really into you, and you like that they are into you. Now with camgirls, they do that because you tip, your brain doesn’t really know the difference as long as it gets what it wants.
You enter the room and command her attention. She has prioritized you and you like that control.
But who is really being controlled?
Emotional Availability
The best cam girls are great listeners especially after a long day of real life problems. Even though you might not share every detail with them, they indicate that they are always ready to receive you and your thoughts.
Creating an environment where you are encouraged to be vulnerable. They listen, and validate your experiences and thoughts.
But would they still listen to your problems with unwavering attention and empathy if you stopped tipping?
Indicating Desire
Physical attractiveness to you is a basic prerequisite in a performer, but what gets overlooked is that we really like when someone really attractive desires us. It almost doubles your motivation to maintain this attachment.
This is what is now popularly referred to as a simping for someone
Add to that, virtual physical intimacy and her reinforcing her desire with “I miss you”, “come back soon”, “that was a lot of fun for me” “I don't have this with anyone else” “I only do this for you because I actually enjoy it”.
Tiers and Exclusivity
When the relationship gets deeper, it's really common for you to want to extend that off the platform. Top patrons or white knights can then be promoted off the original website. Normally you’ll purchase a whatsapp number or a virtual chat room ID on zoom or skype. Sad reality is that when this happens it's likely that you might not be actually talking to her and be talking to her manager.
But you feel that you’ve accessed something exclusive and rare, which makes this feel even more special.
You’ll also find that you might be able to access more time and therefore limit her accessibility to her other “general” clients which can lead to your ego being fed by a false sense of status. Ultimately, you’re still encouraged to go through the website to spend time with her and find that your dates are restricted to the platform as she can’t spend time outside of her work hours.
This of course comes with a convenient plethora of excuses such as bad internet outside the studio, or not wanting to do a call where she lives because she doesn’t want her family or housemates to know about what she does.
We also forget that, from a cam performers perspective staying on platform is a way to have healthier boundaries as well
Remember that interactions with webcam performers are a transaction for sexual entertainment.
But it’s real easy to to play yourself and get played into having a romantic relationship
Remember, you haven’t built this relationship, you bought the appearance of one.
I’m Luke Vu, clinical psychologist. Be kind, be you. Catch you next time